There are over 300 million sexual acts preformed each day. The international porn industry rakes in over 4.9 billion dollars annually, 2.84 billion of that which comes directly from North America. Including sexually suggestive content in an advertising campaign can increase sales up to 85%.
These are all facts that indicate how so much of our culture, the media, our personal routine, even our very essence of existence, comes down to sex. Look around. How much of our promotion and advertising is centered around sex? How much of the Internet is pornography? How directly has sex influenced the world of fashion?
The reality is, sex is an integral part of our culture. It’s almost literally the “pursuit of happiness” concept our southern neighbors seem to be so fond of.
Sex motivates us. Sex manipulates us. Sex rules our world.
And yet, while our culture relentlessly shoves sex down our throat 24/7, our society postures sex as taboo. While advertising giants pepper our highways, magazines and cities with an over abundance of explicit, unrealistic sexual images, our parents, religions and society counter with fear and warning. Both polarize and distort the reality of sex as well as fail to promote any of the positive aspects of sexuality.
“Culturally, we’ve almost forgotten how to address the subject without turning it into a taboo. We are constantly bombarded with images and texts depicting various forms of sexuality, but we rarely engage in more nuanced or articulate discussions about sex,” Mark Ambrose Harris, who teaches a Sociology of Sex course at Dawson, said. “The more we evade frank discussions about sex, the subject just leans more towards the realm of taboo.”
The danger of sex leaning towards the realm of taboo is that, since no one can adequately address the issue, a specific divorce from reality arises that has potential to be very harmful to younger generations.
This potential harm is an effect from misinformation. Since this delicate and potentially explosive topic has been for the most part dubbed as unmentionable, sex education in North America has resorted to being taught using fear campaigns solely promoting abstinence because teachers are too uncomfortable to go into any depth, preventing youth from getting any form of sex ed.
“There’s no talk about what sexuality is and what sexuality means. There are many questions left unanswered,” Dawson Sexual Behavior and Psychology teacher Madelaine Cote said. “The current system isolates people, making them think that they may be weird for wanting sex.”
In an attempt to get the knowledge being denied to them by school, parents, religion and society, youth then turn to pornography and/or the media that, as previously noted, present an unrealistic, heteronormative and most often unattainable, version of sexuality. Learning about sex from the soft glow of our computer screens presents a myriad of problems.
Cote said, “It [porn, advertising] doesn’t completely represent reality. That’s the problem. It’s all cliches and only shows you a certain picture; only one type of ‘good-looking’. The viewers are not seeing normal.”
Socio-sexologist Alice Bastabul also believes the current sex-ed system leaves much to be desired.
“I’ve based my entire career on sex. I still see adults who chuckle and blush when something remotely sexual is suggested. Behavior like that is a direct symptom of a bad sex education and understanding of the normalcy of sexuality.”
“Other symptoms, that are much more serious, like teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections and self-esteem related bad body-image, are cropping up everywhere due to the extreme lack of education regarding sexuality.”
“If kids are just being told to not have sex by some prude of a teacher and their physical biology is telling them the opposite, guess which one wins? I mean, the average age for loss of virginity is 17, an age we can all agree on is very young, naive and vulnerable. If schools aren’t teaching the issues that need to be taught, who is? Porn stars with fake tits that don’t wear condoms? Lil’ Wayne telling them he wants them to lick it, or have it licked, like a lollipop?” Bastabul asked.
“With no knowledge of what to do to be safe, sex becomes the symptoms of no education. Sex becomes the pregnancies, the diseases and the shame when it should be the fun, the exciting and above all, the natural.”
“We need to start teaching a new sex ed. A new sex education that encompass everything abstinence “education” does not. It needs to talk about sex related pressures, sex related decision making, acceptance and protection of the Queer Community (Lesbians, Gays, Transgender, Bisexuals, Asexuals, Questioning), where to find support sources like help lines and clinics, effective contraception and overall, a factual, interesting education on how to pursue each’s own personal sexuality,” Bastabul said.
Last year, the provincial Ontario government adopted a similar plan, and it has been met with great success. Their sex education curriculum is based on several stages taught gradually from elementary school to the last years of high school.
By the end of grade six, students are expected to have a basic knowledge of human physiology and puberty. By grade 10, they should know all about contraceptives, STIs, pregnancy and a in-depth knowledge of human biology. Grade 11 and 12 are mostly dedicated to conversations on physical and mental health regarding sexuality. This structure covers all the bases, enabling students to make strong, informed decisions about sex.
But how can the sex paradigm be changed everywhere else?
Experts agree, through education and dialogue.
“Talking about sex de-mystifies it. Talking about it lets them [youth] see that there are different ways of viewing sexuality and lets them know that maybe they’re not that different from everyone else,” Cote said. “The more knowledgable they are, the more they explore, the more comfortable they get. There needs to be a open context where they can explore sexuality safely.”
Also, instead of having sex ed as a additive to mandatory courses, Harris believes that “we could improve sex ed by making it an imperative part of the overall learning process, and not just some accessory lesson that gets sprinkled on the course load every couple of weeks.”
We all like sex. So why can’t we start openly talking about it? No argument that there needs to be understanding, protection, maturity, a level of discretion, consideration, and responsibility in the process, but why don’t we just admit we like sex, be open about it and learn an honest, healthy approach to physical and emotional sexuality instead of pretending that sex doesn’t take place all the time?
A new sex education system, with all the tweaks mentioned by Bastabul, Harris and Cote, will help people, particularly youth, realize that talking about sex, or sex in general, doesn’t make you a deviant or perverted or mal-adjusted or disgusting or the proud owner of “daddy issues”. Maybe it just makes you human.
Written by: Alexandra Herrington



